tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90582902024-03-01T10:27:27.573+00:00The Questing VolePassing feather-footed through the plashy fens of life, sniffing out curiosities, amusing trifles and scandals from the worlds of culture, politics, news and sportPaddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.comBlogger273125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-91456399738737687882013-05-10T18:33:00.001+01:002013-05-10T18:33:35.686+01:00For those in peril on the sea<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<i>“Eternal Father, strong to save,</i><br />
<i>Whose arm hath bound the restless wave.”</i><br />
<br />
The school hymn of Pangbourne College, alma mater of Andrew Simpson, the Olympic sailor who lost his life yesterday in a capsizing off San Francisco, keeps coming into my mind.<br />
<br />
Composed as a poem by William Whiting in 1860 and set to music a year later by John Dykes, the hymn has long been adopted by navies around the world and is often sung on Remembrance Sunday. So it was appropriate that it should be a favourite at Pangbourne, whose founding mission was to prepare boys for a career in the Merchant Navy.<br />
<br />
As well as Simpson, who won an Olympic gold medal in 2008 and a silver last summer, the school produced Rodney Pattisson, twice an Olympic sailing champion, John Ridgway, an ocean sailor and rower, and Mike Hailwood, the former world champion motorcyclist and Formula One driver who died in a car accident at the age of 40, albeit not racing on a track as seemed to be the fate of many of his contemporaries.<br />
<br />
What connects them, apart from the school, is they spent their lives in quest of a thrill. They were not happy with risk-avoidance; they wanted to live in adventure without regret.<br />
<br />
Having covered sailing for <i>The Times</i> for a few years, I had got to know Simpson, Ben Ainslie and Iain Percy, his fellow Olympians and childhood friends, quite well. I even sailed with them in an America’s Cup yacht four years ago, a faintly terrifying experience.<br />
<br />
That was in the older monohull boat, though. The craft to be used for this year’s America’s Cup is a monstrous beast, 72ft long and with a mast 13 storeys high. The catamaran’s wing sail, a rigid structure designed to give maximum force, is bigger than the wing of a jumbo jet.<br />
<br />
Speaking to a colleague last October, after another of these AC72 boats had flipped over off San Francisco, Max Sirena, the skipper of the Italian America’s Cup team, said that they would not dare to take guests out on it in anything but the lightest conditions.<br />
<br />
An investigation is now under way to discover the cause of the accident that claimed Simpson’s life and many are calling for the America’s Cup, due to be held in September, to be postponed or raced in smaller boats. Safety must not be compromised by speed.<br />
<br />
Yet I wonder if it is what the sailors really want. Most of them love pushing their boats and themselves to the limit and when not racing yachts will spend their leisure in other apparently hazardous pursuits, such as kite-surfing.<br />
<br />
“These are dangerous boats,” Sirena said today. “The boat is basically too powerful. At the same time, this is our sport. This is a risk we take.” For him, danger was to be anticipated and measures put in place to survive it, but never to be wholly avoided.<br />
<br />
When the US Oracle team’s AC72 capsized last October, it was while doing a turning manoeuvre in choppy water with a 25 knot wind. They call the point of no return in such a move “the death zone” and the only way to get through it is to go as fast as you can.<br />
<br />
On that occasion, although the boat capsized, there were no significant injuries to any of the crew. Speaking almost flippantly after the event, Tom Slingsby, one of the sailors, said: “We’ve been pushing the boat more and more and we found our limit today.” A crew-mate recalled the last thing he heard before leaping into the water was his skipper shouting at them to keep an eye on each other.<br />
<br />
Last summer, before the Olympics, I chatted to Simpson and Percy about their friendship, which had lasted more than 25 years. One poignant phrase of Simpson’s sticks in the mind today. Asked whether they had any plans to retire, Percy said that racing was what they lived for.<br />
<br />
Simpson added: “I think I would struggle just pottering up and down creeks in my old age.”<br />
<br />
<i>“Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,</i><br />
<i>For those in peril on the sea!”</i><br />
</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-21473293443928849382013-04-18T15:15:00.001+01:002013-04-18T15:19:10.975+01:00No news is good news<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
This is a dreadful thing for a journalist to admit, but I often wish that there was no news and that events would take a day off.<br />
<br />
Not that I want to shirk. I could spend the time researching a story or writing a book or catching up on the admin I never have time for. But as a consumer of 24-hour news, I would love it all to stop, just for one day. To switch on the television and find that nothing is happening; to go on to Twitter and see that the most recent post was from yesterday; to find only music on the radio. <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p010szlg">This is what happened 83 years ago today</a> at the start of the BBC’s 6.30pm radio bulletin.<br />
<br />
“Good evening,” a newsreader said, doubtless wearing a dinner jacket. “Today is Good Friday. There is no news.”<br />
<br />
With no thought of padding out this uneventful bulletin by asking a celebrity for their view on the weather or manufacturing some political controversy to fill time, the airwaves were then given over instead to piano music. It sounds lovely.<br />
<br />
Looking at <i>The Times</i> for April 19, 1930, it seems the BBC could have found some news if they had looked hard enough, although that would have involved turning to page 4, since the first three pages were adverts.<br />
<br />
In the late debates in Parliament on Thursday (there was no <i>Times</i> on Good Friday) there had been discussion of the death penalty, the withdrawal of grant for cadet corps, the introduction of a 48-hour week and concerns about growing unrest in India. All worth a snippet on the news? No, said the BBC.<br />
<br />
A child in Yorkshire was killed by a collapsed wall, two people died within half an hour of each other in separate car crashes in London and a man appeared in court on a charge of homicide after 70 children died in a fire in his Paisley cinema.<br />
<br />
Up north, there was news of a threat to Hadrian’s Wall after planning permission was granted for a quarry near by, the National Union of Teachers had things to say about raising the school leaving age to 15, while the sports pages looked ahead to the final match in the Five Nations rugby, with France needing to beat Wales to win their first ever title (they lost 11-0).<br />
<br />
In foreign news, the Kuomintang, the Chinese nationalists, were banned in Singapore, while in Germany the sole minister representing the Nazi Party (one Herr Frick) had proposed a series of racist measures in the state of Thuringia, including a ban on jazz bands “and music made with clashing instruments”. He was also keen to limit school lessons about the Old Testament “because of its essentially Jewish character”.<br />
<br />
<i>The Times</i> noted that this new Nazi Party “may take an increasing part in German politics for a year or two”...<br />
<br />
None of this, however, was of much interest to the BBC. No news today was the decision and no news there was. After the saturation coverage of the Thatcher funeral and the unending slog of gloom about austerity measures, Syria/Iraq/Korea and the weather, wouldn’t it be nice if we could again be given another day without news?</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-73722766280245187412013-04-17T17:55:00.001+01:002013-04-17T18:04:05.095+01:00Margaret Thatcher: a Prime Minister for the nuance-free Twitter age<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
It was a Thursday morning, double-history. I can’t recall what we were meant to be studying — almost certainly the Nazis or the Tudors since that was all we ever studied — but instead of ordering us to open our books, Mr Heath turned on the television. Today, he said, we are going to be watching history. Today, the BBC informed us, the only Prime Minister we had ever known had decided to stand down.<br />
<br />
Momentous events often happen on November 22. John F Kennedy was assassinated then, for a start. Monarchy was restored to Spain on the death of Franco, Angela Merkel became Germany’s first female Chancellor and the Orange Revolution kicked off in Ukraine. It was when Jonny Wilkinson drop-goaled England to the rugby World Cup, too.<br />
<br />
For that third-form class watching history being made, the sight of Mrs Thatcher being taken to Buckingham Palace to inform the Queen and a collection of grey-haired men coming forward to express their sorrow, doing their best to hide the dripping daggers that they had wielded the night before, marked the end of an era. Born too late for her to snatch our milk, we had only ever known her as PM.<br />
<br />
When she left Downing Street for the last time it shook up our knowledge, our security, of the way the world was. We felt the same when John Craven left <i>Newsround</i>.<br />
<br />
Enough has been written on Thatcher’s influence and legacy, with neither her supporters nor her detractors giving much ground in the past two decades. It was appropriate that she should live long enough to reach the age of Twitter, since the 140-character format encourages black-and-white opinions with little nuance.<br />
<br />
I struggle to understand both the simpering adoration (I know one Tory MP who has a framed photo of her by his bed) and the utter hatred from people who overlook what a mess the country was in before she came to power. As today’s <i>Times</i> leader reminded us, the day Thatcher became Prime Minister <i>The Times</i> had nothing to say on the matter since the print unions had closed the paper for much of 1979. Surely destroying the power of the unions, who had destroyed her three predecessors and wrecked the economy, was to her credit.<br />
<br />
Thatcher was, for me, very much an “on the one hand... on the other” politician. She did some good, she did some bad; she was compassionate to some, intolerant of others; she healed the country, she damaged the country.<br />
<br />
One thing is certain: the critics who say that she was divisive are utterly wrong. No other politician has so united the country in having a strong opinion about them, one way or the other. No one ever remembers Thatcher with a shrug.<br />
<br />
As a grammar school boy with a strong work ethic, I should have been her sort of person but there was also something about her that made me think we would never have hit it off. That manic certainty, for a start, and the fact that despite (or through) growing up in Colchester I loathed the crass, vapid, money-centric, culture-free Essex Man she had created. <i>They</i> were her people, not me. I was Tory, but an old-school One Nationer.<br />
<br />
We are all Thatcherites now, the Prime Minister declared this morning. Maybe economically we are, or most of us. But as I have got older, I have identified more with the Tory wets. I suspect that if I had been one of her MPs, I would have had too much compassion (or too little spine) to approve some of her measures. I always admired John Major’s hesitation more than her conviction.<br />
<br />
I met them both when I worked at Conservative Central Office more than a decade ago. The early William Hague philosophy of compassionate conservatism based upon kitchen-table issues, a positive move that gained no traction with the electorate who wanted to punish the Tories with at least two terms out of office, had been ditched in favour of a strong anti-euro, anti-immigration, play-to-the-base policy. It was a grim time.<br />
<br />
Part of this shunt, this attempt to pick up at least the love of the <i>Daily Mail</i> if not a parliamentary majority, meant bringing back Thatcher. “The Mummy returns” she declared at conference, to rapturous applause in the hall and shudders round the country. I felt uneasy, knowing that any of the good she had done in her first two terms in office would be swamped by more recent memories of the poll tax and section 28.<br />
<br />
Thatcher was brought round the Central Office “war room”, supposedly to rally morale. We spoke briefly. She complained about the BBC being biased and told me not to let John Humphrys keep getting away with it.<br />
<br />
I also met Major during that campaign. The first time we spoke, he asked what was happening in the news and having run through a few headlines I told him that Surrey were winning at the Oval. We then chatted about cricket for 20 minutes.<br />
<br />
The next time he came round was just after the new <i>Wisden</i> had been published. He saw it sitting on my desk and, ignoring the manifesto, grabbed the yellow book and started to thumb through it. For a few minutes, the election was forgotten and we talked instead about the upcoming Ashes. Both would inevitably result in a thrashing. Call me soppingly wet, but this was my sort of PM.</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-8383655885613035652013-03-26T12:09:00.000+00:002013-03-26T12:09:25.712+00:00Pats on the back<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>The Times</i> was named Sports Newspaper of the Year last night by the Sports Journalists Association. It was pleasing not just because it was the third year in a row that we have been given the prize, which is judged by other sports editors, but because 2012 was a pretty enormous year for sport and you'd assume competition would be tougher than ever.<br />
<br />
It's a tribute to everyone in the department, from the top man down to the hard-working unsung subs who stop us from looking too idiotic every day, and I'm proud to have been part of the team for eight years, even if at times it feels like my role amounts to that of Gary Pratt during the 2005 Ashes.<br />
<br />
But this blog isn't about me or about <i>The Times</i>. Instead, I wanted to doff the cap to three friends in other organisations for their awards, with whom I have shared many beers abroad and whose company I always enjoy.<br />
<br />
So well done to Richard Heathcote, snapper supreme for Getty Images, who won Picture of the Year; to Oliver Brown, the softly spoken purple proser of the <i>Telegraph</i>, for being named Interviewer of the Year; and to Lawrence Booth, for whom it can only be a matter of time before they call him the Sage of Northampton, who snapped up Scoop of the Year for his story in the <i>Daily Mail</i> last year about Kevin Pietersen's text messages to the South Africa camp about his captain.<br />
<br />
Doos-gate, as it came to be known after the unflattering Afrikaans word that KP used to describe Andrew Strauss, was one of those stories that shaped news coverage of the England team for more than one day, right up until they headed off on tour to India two months later. It may have even influenced Strauss's decision to resign the captaincy. So blame Lawrence when we lose the Ashes.<br />
<br />
Lawrence is also, as if he doesn't have enough to do, Editor of <i>Wisden</i>, one of those jobs in journalism so important that you have to capitalise the E. As custodians of the Laws, spirit, records and warmth of cricket, <i>Wisden </i>Editors don't tend to get much time for scoops. The Voice of Authority does not dirty his hands with digging up such things, but rather stands above it all and pontificates beautifully on why they matter (or not).<br />
<br />
John Woodcock, the former chief cricket correspondent of <i>The Times </i>and Editor of <i>Wisden</i> in the 1980s, was once asked a couple of years ago whether he had ever had a scoop in his long career in journalism.<br />
<br />
"There was usually one most days if you looked for it," he said. "I used to hide them in the seventh or eighth paragraph."<br />
<br />
In those days, when journalists mixed more freely with sportsmen and friendship mattered more than exclusives, scoops were considered rather <i>infra dig</i>.</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-47329139764451042402013-03-25T13:29:00.000+00:002013-03-25T13:29:09.998+00:00The Nightmair before Breakfast<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
“You’re a nasty piece of work, aren’t you?”<br />
<br />
Eddie Mair’s interview with Boris Johnson yesterday morning was a brutal disembowelling, a deflating of one of the great characters in politics, and it was great fun to watch. I doubt, however, that it will do much damage to BoJo’s reputation in the long run. As the Prime Minister said today: "Never underestimate the ability of Boris to get out of a tight spot."<br />
<br />
Those tearing into Johnson yesterday and today hated him already; while those he has charmed in the past — and he has been electorally the most (the only?) successful Tory politician of the past two decades despite his many foibles — will soon forget this. Johnson, like Bill Clinton, has an easy knack of making people overlook his failings.<br />
<br />
Yet it was quite a surprise how poorly he handled Mair. Johnson tends to be good at moving on after gaffes. He has, after all, had a bit of practice. The usual method is to apologise (something so few politicians ever consider when in the wrong), quip something in Latin or preferably Aramaic and steer the conversation on to something else with lashings of charm. I don't know why he didn't do the same yesterday; it's not as if he was hit with new weapons.<br />
<br />
The three questions about his personal integrity that Mair put to him had all been aired extensively in the past and, grating though it must be for them to come up again, Johnson could have waved them off with his usual “admit and apologise” strategy. Here’s how:<br />
<br />
Did you make up a quote while working for <i>The Times</i>? “Yes, gosh, that was terribly poor form of me. Schoolboy error, quite rightly given six of the best and sent packing. I never thought my own godfather, of whom I fabricated the quote, would grass me up. Still, it was years ago and everyone knows about it.”<br />
<br />
Did you lie to Michael Howard about your affair? “Yes, cripes, who hasn’t lied when confronted by a beak about having an affair? Quite rightly given six of the best and sent packing. Deeply regret it now. Mea maxima culpa.”<br />
<br />
Did you tell Darius Guppy you’d give him a journalist’s address so he could get him beaten up? “Yes, that’s been gone over lots of times as well. Very bad of me, but the old bean was in a dreadful state and chums say silly things in private conversations that they don’t mean. I never did act on that promise. Don't you have any new questions you want to ask me?”<br />
<br />
I think the main reason why Johnson handled these questions so badly is Mair’s manner. He is like a disapproving headmaster, never sneering or raising his voice but able to make his subject feel small and his own displeasure quite clear. It has the effect of making politicians feel bashful and ashamed.<br />
<br />
The quote at the top of this piece, a damningly blunt attack, was delivered in a calm, level tone and so felt more damaging. Mair is the ideal iron fist inside a velvet glove.<br />
<br />
I experienced the Mair method myself 18 months ago when I went on Radio 4’s <i>PM</i> to talk about <i>The Times’s</i> scoop of getting hold of the RFU dossier into England’s poor rugby World Cup.<br />
<br />
Mair, in the same calm but damning tone, accused us of sensationalism, saying that we had “only published the negative comments and none of the positive feedback”.<br />
<br />
I replied that the three dossiers leaked to my colleague, Mark Souster, amounted to 100 A4 double-spaced pages and that over the previous four days we had given 23 pages of <i>The Times</i> to reporting what was said, meaning there was barely a sentence left out. I also pointed out a few of the positive comments we had published and said the reason we didn’t print more is there simply weren’t more.<br />
<br />
I think I did a good job, but I was speaking from a position of honesty and still felt besieged. I can well imagine how off-putting Mair’s style must be to someone who has something to feel ashamed about even, as in Johnson’s case, when the story is public anyway.<br />
<br />
The main thing that came out of the Sunday morning humiliation was not the effect it will have on Johnson’s career, but what it might do to Mair’s. Instead of standing in for the big names when they are away, as he is doing for Andrew Marr on Sundays and has done for Jeremy Paxman on <i>Newsnight</i>, he deserves a regular crack on one of the BBC’s punchiest programmes. It would become required viewing.<br />
</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-39301292753061992832013-03-08T13:23:00.001+00:002013-03-08T13:23:49.966+00:00Plum sauce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
The news that <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-21700147">Sebastian Faulks is to take on the mantle of PG Wodehouse</a> and write a new Jeeves and Wooster novel 40 years after the last, <i>Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen</i>, has had a largely negative reception, many ardent Wodehouseans fearing that he won’t be able to pull it off.<br />
<br />
In a piece in <i>The Times</i> this morning, I tried to be more encouraging. Faulks, after all, understands the canon, <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/bookreviews/8286324/Faulks-on-Fiction-Jeeves.html">as demonstrated in this piece two years ago</a>, and is unlikely to be guilty of trying too hard.<br />
<br />
As I mischievously suggested, perhaps Faulks will really horrify the traditionalists by modernising the Jeeves format, having the valet rescuing Bertie from a gay marriage to Gussie Fink-Nottle, at which the Reverend Stephanie “Stiffy” Byng was due to conduct the ceremony. I suspect not.<br />
<br />
But can he conjure the wit, seemingly effortless yet laden with historical and literary references, of Wodehouse that proves so charming? There is a wonderful website that allows you, by refreshing the page, to <a href="http://www.drones.com/pgw.cgi">read a selection of randomly chosen Wodehouse quotes</a>.<br />
<br />
To take the first three that came up just now:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>“Bingo uttered a stricken woofle like a bull-dog that has been refused cake.”</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>“Why is there unrest in India? Because its inhabitants eat only an occasional handful of rice. The day when Mahatma Gandhi sits down to a good juicy steak and follows it up with a roly-poly pudding and a spot of stilton, you will see the end of all this nonsense of Civil Disobedience.”</li>
</ul>
And, my favourite:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy’s Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city’s reservoir, he turns to the cupboard, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”</li>
</ul>
Good luck matching that, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
He is not the first man to try to replicate Wodehouse, though he is the first to have an official imprimatur. Eileen McIlvaine’s <i><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Recherche-du-Cricket-Perdu/dp/0333487222/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1362748700&sr=1-1">Wodehouse: A Comprehensive Bibliography</a></i> records 29 “imitations, parodies and other flights of fancy”.<br />
<br />
My colleague, Simon Barnes, wrote a Wodehouse-style short story called <i>How’s That, Jeeves?</i> for a collection of cricket-themed parodies called <i><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Recherche-du-Cricket-Perdu/dp/0333487222/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1362748700&sr=1-1">A La Recherche Du Cricket Perdu</a></i>, in which Bertie is a county captain, Jeeves his dressing-room attendant and Madeleine Bassett a telephonist.<br />
<br />
In 1979, four years after Wodehouse’s death, Northcote Parkinson, a naval historian, wrote a fictional life of Jeeves, called <i><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jeeves-A-Gentlemans-Personal-Gentleman/dp/0354043765">A Gentleman’s Personal Gentleman</a></i> (he had done the same a few years earlier for Horatio Hornblower), while Peter Cannon, in a rather slim volume of three short stories called <i><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Scream-Jeeves-Peter-H-Cannon/dp/0940884607">Scream for Jeeves</a></i>, attempted rather surprisingly to marry the styles of Wodehouse and H.P. Lovecraft.<br />
<br />
There is also a pastiche by Barry Tighe that fits into the tries-too-hard category called <i><a href="http://www.canwritewillwrite.com/Gieves.htm">Gieves to the Fore</a></i> (he had to tweak the names under legal warning, so Gieves attends on Bartie Wooster and his rival, Spade).<br />
<br />
The most interesting Wodehouse tribute, though, can be found in a fabulous study published last year of Wodehouse’s influence on the theatre, called <a href="http://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Second_Row_Grand_Circle.html?id=umpmMwEACAAJ&redir_esc=y"><i>Second Row, Grand Circle</i>,</a> by Tony Ring.<br />
<br />
In it, Ring has discovered that Thornton Wilder, the American winner of three Pulitzer Prizes, started upon a stage play called Homage to P. G. Wodehouse, in 1938 but never completed it.<br />
<br />
Manuscripts found in the Thornton Wilder Papers at Yale University reveal two drafts of scenes that refer to Freddie Threepwood, heir to the Blandings empire, his manservant Jeeves (on secondment from Wooster?), an Aunt Augusta, the Drones club and some missing jewels.<br />
<br />
It sounds fascinating, but Wilder maybe did not feel up to the challenge of echoing the Master and ended the project. Does Faulks know what he has let himself in for?</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-89860086738612989332013-03-01T12:06:00.000+00:002013-03-01T12:06:13.116+00:00Don't let the Loonies win. Any of them<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The biggest losers of the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21625726">Eastleigh by-election</a> were not the Tories or the Labour Party, they were the Monster Raving Loonies, whose candidate received only 136 votes, about 100 fewer than the man from the Beer, Baccy and Crumpet Party.<br />
<br />
When the Lib Dems first won Eastleigh at a by-election in 1994, profiting from the sitting Tory MP being found dead wearing stockings and suspenders with a flex round his neck and an orange in his mouth (ah, those were the days when sex scandals were done well), the Loonies received 783 votes.<br />
<br />
The UK Independence Party, whose candidate was one Nigel Farage, polled only 170 votes more.<br />
<br />
That was the same year that a Monster Raving Loony candidate, "Top Cat" Owen, got 2,859 votes in the European elections. Truly, 1994 was a halcyon time for the loonies.<br />
<br />
Mais ou sont les Loons d'antan, as Farage is always saying. They have faded from our scene. In the previous by-election of this Parliament, in Croydon North, the Loonies got 110 votes, just pipping the candidate standing on the platform that "9/11 was an inside job".<br />
<br />
No one votes Loony these days in part because the joke has worn thin. The death of their founder, Screaming Lord Sutch, in 1999 also robbed them of their charisma. But perhaps it is also because people feel that loonies are now in the mainstream.<br />
<br />
That is certainly the feeling I get looking at the post-Eastleigh reaction in the Tory Party. Stewart Jackson MP <a href="http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2013/03/eastleigh-by-election-what-the-tories-need-to-do-now/">writes a piece in the Spectator</a> blaming the result on David Cameron’s support for gay marriage and the response is loads of comments attacking Jackson for not being right wing enough.<br />
<br />
As <a href="http://jerryhayes.co.uk/">Jerry Hayes</a>, one of the remaining voices of sanity in the Party, wrote today: "Of course there will be the usual primal screams for a change of course. More traditional policies, anti-Europe, anti-immigrant, anti-union and an abhorrence of same-sex marriage. The delightful irony was that Maria Hutchings represented all of these things. She was the standard bearer of the Amish wing of the Tories.<br />
<br />
"The electorate had no doubt what her views were. They were not remotely Cameroon. So when the usual suspects demand that the party drifts to the right and abandons modernisation they should be reminded that voters were offered all that they consider to be a masturbatory dream and rejected them."<br />
<br />
I doubt that Cameron’s backbenchers will make that link. They will look at the decision by Tory High Command to keep Hutchings away from the media after she told them that the local state schools weren’t good enough for her son and decide that if only she had been allowed to speak up more often, votes would not have leaked to Ukip.<br />
<br />
Maybe not, but the Tories would still not have won and perhaps some of their votes would have gone over to the Lib Dem candidate. I know that I, as a former Tory Central Office staffer, would struggle to put my cross next to someone like Hutchings.<br />
<br />
Ironically, this result, looked at with calmness and sanity, is a good thing for David Cameron. Instead of the election of a candidate from the loony wing of his party who would no doubt be a troublesome and gobby backbencher, he has gained a loyal member of the Coalition. This vote was a victory for the Government, not a defeat for the Tories.<br />
<br />
And perhaps that is the biggest lesson to be drawn from Eastleigh, that this was a disaster for Labour and Ed Miliband. On a decent turnout their share of the vote went up by 0.22 per cent and remains less than half of what it was at the 2005 General Election. All talk of being a One Nation party that can win seats around the country was just froth. They have as much work to do as the Tories, maybe more.<br />
<br />
The key to winning the next election will be the state of the economy in 2015 and how people feel about the future. Petrol prices, inflation and jobs are what matter, not Europe, gays and immigration. When people cannot afford to feed themselves, they tend not to give a toss about same-sex marriage.<br />
<br />
The candidate ahead of the Loonies in Eastleigh may have it spot on. To twist Bill Clinton’s adage: it’s the beer, baccy and crumpets, stupid.<br />
</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-69826400846690059132013-02-18T18:55:00.001+00:002013-02-18T18:55:31.683+00:00Save wrestling, ditch wiff-waff<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4wsXMKjLTq7le8AXpo1kLq1QferEny8UdQVkPhjh8efvV1XwRlE6CrM96ukhtR69Wq66Gl1P-QzKMn5VjKqYAPLxVe7wzdYf_okPPBM6qHvg4TT7topWhNvWCjHUu5f8BmUqGJA/s1600/wrestlers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4wsXMKjLTq7le8AXpo1kLq1QferEny8UdQVkPhjh8efvV1XwRlE6CrM96ukhtR69Wq66Gl1P-QzKMn5VjKqYAPLxVe7wzdYf_okPPBM6qHvg4TT7topWhNvWCjHUu5f8BmUqGJA/s200/wrestlers.jpg" width="200" /></a>It’s a common argument in politics: if you don’t want a service cut, suggest something else that should go instead. The money only spreads so far; everything saved must be balanced by something being lost.<br />
<br />
That is the problem facing the International Olympic Committee. Seven sports want to be admitted to the Olympic family for 2020 but in order for one of them to come in, something else must leave. Last week the IOC decided that wrestling would be the sport up for execution.<br />
<br />
When the IOC meets in September to decide the programme for 2020, the seven candidate sports — squash, baseball/softball, roller sports, climbing, wakeboarding, karate and wushu — will be pitching for a place at the top table at the expense of one of the world’s oldest competitive sports.<br />
<br />
Few of us, in Britain anyway, really understand wrestling as it is contested at the Olympics. It’s a long way from the showbusiness that is American simulated wrestling or what we remember being presented on ITV by Dickie Davies, but it has its roots in man’s earliest impulses. Ever since we came down from the trees we have wanted to grapple.<br />
<br />
There are cave paintings 10,000 years old showing men doing pretty much what Greco-Roman Olympic wrestlers do. The heroes are always at it in Homer, while it was introduced into the ancient Olympics in 704BC. Naturally, Baron de Coubertin wanted it as part of his revived Olympics (although he was squeamish about them doing it naked) and so it has been part of every Games with the exception of 1900.<br />
<br />
Now it is to go and it feels like the Olympics is losing part of its soul. I would feel the same if modern pentathlon, a sport invented for the Olympics and which was also under threat, had been chosen. Much as I believe that squash should be at the Games, I don’t want it there at the expense of a core Olympic sport.<br />
<br />
So, the politicians would say, if I want squash in and don’t want to lose wrestling, what would I cut? Personally, I’d get rid of golf or tennis, both of which feel wrong as Olympic sports (no one’s going to claim that a gold medal means as much to Andy Murray as a major title or that Rory McIlroy would take one over a green jacket at Augusta), but since money and sponsorship matter so much these days to the Olympic Movement they are probably safe.<br />
<br />
I quite like the suggestion by my former colleague <a href="http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/sport/olympics/article1215335.ece">John Goodbody in the Sunday Times yesterday</a> that the IOC could make room in the Summer Olympics by moving some of the indoor sports to the less congested Winter Olympic schedule (why not do weightlifting or badminton as a winter sport?) but I also can’t see that happening.<br />
<br />
Instead, my choice would be based on universality. The medals on offer at the Games should, as far as possible, be available to as many nations as possible. That is one of the attractions of squash, which would give good medal chances to Egypt (just 12 Olympic medals since 1948, only one gold) and Malaysia (six medals, none gold).<br />
<br />
Wrestling medals have been won by 54 different countries since 1896 and at London 2012 it was one of the most diverse sports, with medals won by 29 countries including Mongolia, Uzbekistan and Puerto Rico.<br />
<br />
Only athletics (41 different countries won medals) was more universal. And what was the least? Ignoring synchronised swimming (3 medals) and hockey (5), both of which only have two contests, it is table-tennis. Just five nations won medals and China took all four golds and two silvers.<br />
<br />
In fact, China has dominated table-tennis since the sport appeared on the Olympic programme in 1988. Of the 28 gold medals won in that time, Chinese ping-pongers have taken 24 (South Korea three and Sweden one). China has also won 15 silvers and eight bronzes. It effectively gives them six or seven medals every Games.<br />
<br />
How can the IOC justify retaining such a one-sided sport? Surely if the Olympics are about the world united in sport, it is time (and with apologies to Boris Johnson) for wiff-waff to be cut from the programme.<br />
</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-31300627067659874942013-02-05T15:13:00.000+00:002013-02-18T18:57:41.500+00:00Thoughts on gay marriage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<i>Gosh, it is tough to be an Anglican Tory at times. Today being one of them. But as the opponents of gay marriage try to get all Christian Conservatives labelled as frothing loons, I hope it is understood that not all of us - not even a majority of us - are so uncaring. Anyway, here are a few random thoughts of my own:</i><br />
<br />
I didn’t get married in order to have children, although it was part of our hope for the future. Plenty of people, after all, are magically able to have children outside of marriage, not least Joseph and Mary who were merely “espoused”, or engaged to be married, when Mary discovered she had been made pregnant with the Spirit of the Lord. The religious right always seem to miss that.<br />
<br />
Nor did I get married for tax reasons and much as I could do with some extra money these days, it is not the hope that George Osborne might bless our union with a few quid that keeps me married.<br />
<br />
I married for love, crazy unorthodox fool that I am, and the belief that it was important to solemnise that love in a religious setting, surrounded by friends and family, and to make a public pronouncement of our long-term commitment to each other. We had moved past the pilot episode and decided to give it a full series. Marriage gave a solid base to our lives, but it could not have been laid without love.<br />
<br />
Marriage these days should only be about love. It is no longer about the financial advantage of uniting families or the transfer of a woman, along with other chattels, into a man’s care. It is an adventure embarked on by equals.<br />
<br />
Which is why it baffles me that there is such vehement opposition to extending this beautiful ceremony and status to those who love each other but are of the same gender. What actual harm is caused by letting gay people marry?<br />
<br />
The opponents talk a lot about gay marriage “undermining the institution of marriage” but never go farther and say why. How is their marriage or that of any other straight couple made less valid by two gay men or women expressing the same commitment to each other?<br />
<br />
Surely the institution is reinforced by more people wanting to make that commitment? Is it not, instead, the two million unmarried couples who are undermining the tradition?<br />
<br />
Or how about those couples who divorce and then remarry and then divorce and remarry again? The Katie Price principle. Are they not undermining the institution of marriage more than a couple of loved-up gay guys?<br />
<br />
Why are the Peter Bones and Gerald Howarths of this world not campaigning to ban procreation outside of marriage and outlaw divorce? It would be outlandish but at least consistent with their argument.<br />
<br />
And what about those who get married and either cannot or choose not to have children? Are they not violating that principle that Charles Moore and the rest of the anti-gay brigade keep banging on about that marriage is all about the kiddies?<br />
<br />
Yes, there is part of the wedding service that talks about the hope that the union will be blessed with children, but that can be as easily glossed over, or edited out, as the “wives submit to your husbands” bit that my wife insisted we excise.<br />
<br />
Marriage has evolved to reflect society but the root purpose of it, the thing that drives many of us instinctively to wanting to make that public statement, has not changed and that is the same innate impulse whether you are gay or straight.<br />
<br />
I do not believe that churches should be forced to offer gay marriage, although I am disappointed that this is not to be an option to individuals within the Church of England. I know plenty of Anglicans, including priests, who would be happy to see a gay marriage celebrated in their church.<br />
<br />
The rights of those who have religious objections must be respected. It confuses me, though, why a gay couple would want to get married by a priest who does not wish them well.<br />
<br />
The opponents are on stronger ground when they complain that the Bill does not recognise the consummation of a gay marriage and thus will not allow for divorce on the grounds of adultery. This is an odd error of drafting or a great failure of imagination.<br />
<br />
Since hardly anyone these days — surely — is a virgin when they get married, is it not just assumed that straight marriages are consummated? No one has to provide evidence that they had sex after marriage and it can hardly be tested in a court. Similarly, when people divorce because of adultery they are rarely found in bed with their lover. It is either admission or enough circumstantial evidence of an affair that gets them and why can those assumptions not be made for gay couples?<br />
<br />
David Cameron is to be admired for making this stand of principle. He did not need to do it. I doubt it will win him many extra votes in the gay community and they may be offset anyway by those who escape to Ukip over this. There was no campaign of pressure that forced him to this point, he simply went for it because it is right.<br />
<br />
In doing so, the Prime Minister has shown much more courage than two previous Labour Prime Ministers did. I have always thought that the introduction of civil partnerships was a cowardly fudge that somehow sent out the message that gay people couldn’t make the same commitment as straights. It is time to correct that distinction. To do so would be the kind, and I suggest, Christian thing.</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-84187060005992265332013-01-21T19:19:00.002+00:002013-01-21T19:19:24.987+00:00Service above self<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sam Foster is a nursery nurse at my daughter's nursery in southeast London. I doubt she earns very much and she has a son at university to support but like everyone else who works there she has a wonderful attitude towards her job.<br />
<br />
Take this morning. It snowed a bit over the weekend. Not as much as in some parts of the country but enough to make the roads a bit skiddy and to bugger up the trains. For some people this was a green light to bunk off (sorry, work from home), while others had to make an extra effort.<br />
<br />
In my wife's case, this involved getting me out of bed at 5am so I could drive her to a Tube station because her train wasn't running. But this isn't about my sacrifice. Anyway, I quite like driving on icy roads. It adds challenge.<br />
<br />
Sam usually takes a train to the nursery but they were not running. Most people would have cried off at this point, but Sam pulled on her wellies and decided to walk in. It took her two and a half hours. One of her colleagues gave her a lift home tonight and measured the distance: seven miles.<br />
<br />
Sam was not the only hero. Every member of staff was at the nursery by 7.30am. It helped that the council had done their job, even if the train companies hadn't, and cleared the roads but that is still a fine effort. As a result, no parent had to take the day off - and with most children at the nursery having two working parents that is not only a relief for them but a saving for the economy.<br />
<br />
Yet when I arrived this morning I found that the nursery owner's six-year-old daughter was also there because the head teacher of her primary school had decided to close on account of the snow, in common with a few other primaries in Lewisham borough.<br />
<br />
Almost 5,000 schools across the country were closed today and I'm sure that in many rural areas this was a necessity, but the snow was not so bad in cities that this had to be an option. It certainly wasn't in London. If the staff at a private nursery school can travel seven miles to ensure that their children are looked after and educated, why do our state schools close the gates so easily?</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-46423483937427355132013-01-09T18:54:00.002+00:002013-01-09T18:54:59.541+00:00Fishcakes and coelacanths: how to swear like CMJ and Captain Haddock<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I telephoned my wife by accident just before Christmas, having leant on the phone while driving, and left a voicemail that she later played back to me with a fit of giggles.<br />
<br />
About 10 seconds of beautiful violin music is heard, punctuated suddenly by a bellow of “indicate, you fucker” as one of London’s many selfish motorists changed direction without thinking to let anyone know. I swear a lot when driving. God knows what my baby daughter is picking up in the back.<br />
<br />
Christopher Martin-Jenkins, who died last week, had plenty of misadventures with mobile phones but it is hard to imagine him ever leaving a profane voicemail. One of the delightful repeated references in the tributes paid to him was how creatively unsweary he was.
“Fishcakes” was a common euphemism, as was “Captain Carruthers”.<br />
<br />
For really bad occasions, he would say “Billingsgate Harbour”, “Bishen Singh Bedi” or “Billy Goats Gruff”. He was also fond of composers. If he ever shouted “Beethoven” things were pretty dire.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsFuijmedpljseXWJ0xvk2osCJ7FwyA0cod1sCtq-fcPrYfjo7eIhcZVMtVzdzkcqeDojJQHGmcLA9FD2T1mJIsNC-Ioez0ibit1WOGEbA7iuy3Z1E6fl-QaV2eU-E_oq6SAVPjw/s1600/fotherington.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsFuijmedpljseXWJ0xvk2osCJ7FwyA0cod1sCtq-fcPrYfjo7eIhcZVMtVzdzkcqeDojJQHGmcLA9FD2T1mJIsNC-Ioez0ibit1WOGEbA7iuy3Z1E6fl-QaV2eU-E_oq6SAVPjw/s200/fotherington.png" width="170" /></a></div>
And then there was “Fotheringay Thomas”, which I first read in Jonathan Agnew’s tribute in our paper and assumed was an error. “Which **** of a sub-editor didn’t query that?” I probably said in my agricultural way, because, as any fule kno, it was surely meant in reference to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fotherington-Thomas">Basil Fothering<b>ton</b>-Thomas</a>, the school swot in the Molesworth books of the 1950s, right, who is always skipping around saying “hello clouds, hello sky”.<br />
<br />
But Fotheringay was how it appeared in all the other tributes and obituaries, so that must have been what he used to say. Odd that CMJ, such a stickler for getting things right, should err a little in his creative swearing.<br />
<br />
There is great art in the inventive non-obscenity. The master, of course, was Captain Haddock, Tintin’s crusty companion, who uses <a href="http://www.tintinologist.org/guides/lists/curses.html">211 different swear words</a> in their 16 adventures together, usually after one too many Loch Lomonds.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeWX81B6R1mgTa2ER0GKmAZAr9wbad7xmEtszmzLK0tQF1qEjGRzvcmjZq16jXpRzsf9YMR_hVrok7GSZqg65zQqdNI3F2-F4H5BCYFPQf5VsmGTNMkxJ601rI6M_gnHQAhn1rSw/s1600/haddock-quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeWX81B6R1mgTa2ER0GKmAZAr9wbad7xmEtszmzLK0tQF1qEjGRzvcmjZq16jXpRzsf9YMR_hVrok7GSZqg65zQqdNI3F2-F4H5BCYFPQf5VsmGTNMkxJ601rI6M_gnHQAhn1rSw/s320/haddock-quote.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
“Anthropithecus” is one of many scientific abuses he employs. “Bashi-bazouks”, “Coelacanth”, “Iconoclast”... And then there are the alliterative strings of curses: “Billions of blue blistering barnacles”; “ten thousand thundering typhoons”; “lily-livered landlubbers”.<br />
<br />
As someone who grew up on Tintin, I really should have followed Haddock’s lead. There is something quite classy about raiding the dictionary for a good non-offensive swear, which follows on from the minced oaths of yore that were designed to avoid blasphemy such as bloody (by our Lady), egad (Oh God) and zounds (by God’s wounds).<br />
<br />
Instead, I tend to eff and blind like a docker, although I have my own elegant variations, usually involving the c word being adjectival (“indicate you c***ing fucker”) or the portmanteau of twunt. I blame my first boss in journalism, the shy and retiring Giles Coren.<br />
<br />
Now that my daughter is 2, though, I need to rein it in a bit, otherwise I could have some awkward conversations when she starts school. Instead of calling other motorists fuckers, perhaps they should be philistines; for wanker read Wanamaker; and as for the C word, well there the benchmark has already been set by Test Match Sofa, the amateur online cricket commentary.<br />
<br />
Although the Sofa is less sweary than when it started, the language used is still more rustic than the BBC would tolerate. There has always, however, been a blanket ban on calling someone by the most offensive word.<br />
<br />
Instead, they use the word Bradman, in the hope that overuse will eventually lead to the great Australian batsman’s name becoming similarly unusable in polite company.
“Indicate, you Bradman” will be my new roar of the road. Or perhaps, in extremis, “indicate, you Ponting”.</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-5061600346855702142013-01-01T19:31:00.001+00:002013-01-01T19:43:56.736+00:00Memories of CMJ<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; page-break-before: always;">
I first met Christopher Martin-Jenkins in April 2005, although like
hundreds of thousands of listeners of <i>Test Match Special</i> I already
felt that I knew this voice of summer. I had been at <i>The Times</i> for almost four years by then, but my relationship with cricket
was still that of a fan and our first meeting was not in a press box
but at his former house in West Sussex, which he wanted my help to sell.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Having started on the
paper's gossip column, I had moved to join our new property
supplement, Bricks and Mortar, where I wrote features about people and places. In early 2005, the property editor
got a very polite, slightly sheepish email from our then cricket
correspondent, whose house had been on the market without offers for
some time. Could we help to give it a nudge? Knowing that I liked
cricket, she sent me down to speak to CMJ.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Quintessential
English gem” said the sales particulars. It was not clear whether
that referred to the house or the man. CMJ was English through and
through, from his elegant manners and precision with language to his
upper front teeth, splayed like stumps after an encounter with Glenn
McGrath.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He was a poet, but an
effortless one. I wrote in my piece on his house that he was the
sort of commentator who would describe a batsman as taking to the
game “like a mallard to a mere” rather than a duck to water,
presumably a phrase I had heard him use. He never burbled or waffled,
unlike some in the box. If he ever mentioned a pigeon, there would be
a damn good reason for it.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The property was enormous. A red-brick Georgian eight-bedroom house with sash windows and wisteria up the wall, set in 44 acres with an
avenue of lime trees, a cricket net and a ten-hole pitch-and-putt
golf course. “I had too much room for just nine holes,” he
mentioned, without pretension. He and his wife wanted to
downsize before his retirement from full-time
cricket-writing.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Naturally, we talked
about cricket and perhaps my recognition when he casually mentioned
in front of a portrait of Alfred Mynn that his wife was descended
from the mid-19th-century Kent all-rounder helped us to strike a
rapport.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It is well known that
the teenaged CMJ wrote to Brian Johnston for advice on how to become
a cricket commentator, but I had not seen what Johnners replied so
asked him. “He told me to go and practise on a tape recorder,”
CMJ said. “So I used to hide myself in quiet spots of the county
ground and make commentaries. I would also commentate on games
between myself and my brothers.”</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It paid off: by the age
of 28 he was cricket correspondent of the BBC and spent 40 years
commentating on and writing about his greatest love.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But downsizing came
with a price. I remember the sadness in his voice when he
showed the garage where boxes were filled with a couple of
hundred cricket books that he was having to sell because of lack of
space in the new house. Ian Botham's <i>Don't Tell Kath</i> was top of the
pile. Maybe he had a second copy.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Many young journalists
have written on Twitter today about how CMJ had helped them early in
their careers, but I can't recall having the guts to ask him for
advice that day. However, by that summer I had started a process of
moving across to the sports department.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
After helping out with
some of the fiddly bits of coverage of that year's phenomenal Ashes
series – the statistics panels and suchlike – I was semi-poached
from the property section, first for a couple of days a week and then
full-time.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
For a while, I was just
on the subs' desk, where I remember CMJ's phone calls to check his
copy – always polite, but always quite rightly firm when
someone wanted to “improve” his words. I recall one incident when
he had a strop because someone had amended a reference to Paul
Collingwood being “cabined, cribbed, confined”, arguing that if
it was good enough for Shakespeare it was more than good enough for
<i>The Times</i>.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
When I got out of the
office and started to cover home Test matches I found him always a
delightful, charming, intelligent man. We were in Dubai for England's series against Pakistan and I think the last time I saw him was when he was shopping with his wife in a souk.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He talked about how as
he got older he insisted that she went on tours with him so that they
could spend more time together. They were friends since university
and had been married for more than 40 years. Alas, it was on their
next overseas trip, a holiday in St Lucia, where the cancer that
killed him was diagnosed.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
We last communicated by
email in November, when it was clear that the illness was terminal,
but the tone of his message was still upbeat. A strong Christian, he
found his faith comforting during what must have been an
awful time for him and his family.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Everyone has a story
about CMJ's scattiness, poor timekeeping and technophobia and <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2013/jan/01/christopher-martin-jenkins-cricket-best-friend">Mike Selvey has shared some brilliant stories</a>, but I remember one occasion
when he was not only punctual but actually early. It was the annual
Times over-40s v under-40s cricket match in Coldharbour, near
Dorking, and CMJ arrived at the ground before almost every other
player.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Proud of his punctuality, he went to his car as the pavilion was
being opened... only to discover that he had left his kit bag at
home. Chastened, he headed back down the hill towards Horsham and
eventually arrived, as always, after the toss. It did not
seem to put him off his stride: despite his age, CMJ bowled an
impeccable length and took something like five wickets for eight
runs.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The only other occasion
when I recall him participating in a Times sports event was the
annual correspondent's golf day. For a bargain price, our golf
correspondent had arranged breakfast, a round of golf at Sunningdale and lunch afterwards. CMJ managed to get there by lunch – and only just. But he stayed and ate with us,
hearing all our dull stories about duffed chips and missed putts
while he apologised for being five hours late.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Cricket has lost a
lovely man today. It was a pleasure and privilege to know him a
little.</div>
</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-7086803112287057632012-12-31T08:49:00.000+00:002012-12-31T10:33:57.859+00:00A sports-writer's year, part 3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>As the most marvellous year for British sport comes to an end, the final part of my look back at the events I was lucky enough to cover... </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>All links take you to the Times paywall I'm afraid, but anyone who ventures beyond for their quid can get access to my far more talented colleagues' writings for the next 24 hours.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>September </b>Straight from a Lord's conference room to Woolwich, where my Paralympics began with watching a 70-year-old Australian grandmother reach the final, then back to Eton Dorney to see a <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/paralympics/article3526283.ece">gold medal for GB's coxed four</a>; swimming, wheelchair basketball and the fascinating <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/paralympics/article3528530.ece">sport of boccia</a> - bowls for those with cerebral palsy - followed, then sailing and wheelchair rugby, but already half the mind was on events later in the month as I handled the report on the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3528507.ece">US Ryder Cup wild cards</a>.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3549696.ece">obligatory piece on the wives</a> kicked off Ryder Cup week in Chicago, one of the few events where the build-up lasts longer than the competition. Among the various preview pieces, I enjoyed <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3551908.ece">interviewing Dave Stockton</a>, the American putting guru who was working with Rory McIlroy. <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3553611.ece">America's God squad</a> were more get-in-the-holier-than-thou (a line that's just occurred to me, wish I'd thought it at the time) but the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3554618.ece">spirit of Seve saw Europe to victory</a> from 10-4 down. Just as well we binned the scheduled piece on "how Olazabal ballsed up the Ryder Cup". Writing a piece on the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3554853.ece">American media reaction</a> was fun.<br />
<br />
<b>October</b> A bitty month with lots of small pieces on things like the continuing row over Kevin Pietersen's rehabilitation, some rugby reporting and an interview with William Fox-Pitt about chickens. Spent an amusing hour <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3573069.ece">with Graeme Swann</a> talking about darts, babies and how to win in India.<br />
<br />
Also interviewed <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3570290.ece">Stuart Broad</a>, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3571544.ece">Alastair Cook</a>, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3576537.ece">Jonny Bairstow</a> and <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3579686.ece">Steven Finn</a> ahead of England's cricket tour as their sponsors got their money's worth. Only one of them came back with reputation enhanced. The month ended with a rare dip into athletics as Charles van Commenee's successor was named.<br />
<br />
<b>November</b> I wasn't sent to India but filled my boots writing about it anyway. Was quite pleased with this <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3590072.ece">feature on the players who had won there</a> before, which included some gems about security risks, playing charades and handling dodgy prawns from Graeme Fowler in particular. <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3599431.ece">Tipped England to win</a>, by the way (hurrah!), but said their fast bowlers would be the difference (less hurrah).<br />
<br />
It was a good month for interviews. Was delighted to speak to <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3605485.ece">Peter Wilson, the Olympic champion shooter</a>, who was charming and funny, and to <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/article3613466.ece">Ian Thorpe, the Australian swimmer</a>, who talked about his battle with depression and his hope of returning to the form of his teenage years.<br />
<br />
But one of my fondest memories of 2012 was <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/athletics/article3615722.ece">interviewing Sir Chris Chataway</a>, the former distance runner, about the Great Pea-Soup Smog of 1952, running with Roger Bannister and being the first person to win the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year.<br />
<br />
Also <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/sailing/article3594413.ece">interviewed the three British sailors</a> who were about to head off solo around the world in the Vendee Globe. As I write, two of them are still going and should finish in early February, but <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/sailing/article3602839.ece">Sam Davies lost her mast</a> early in the race. Cannot see the attraction of doing such a thing, but I admire their bravery. The month finished in Cardiff, watching <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/rugbyunion/article3611014.ece">Wales get spanked by the All Blacks</a>. England were the next victims...<br />
<br />
<b>December</b> I thought I was meant to be in Cardiff again for Wales v Australia. Fortunately I had misread the rota and someone corrected me before I hit the M4. Out of nowhere, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/rugbyunion/article3618537.ece">England fashioned the most extraordinary win</a> - no, thrashing - of New Zealand, with Manu Tuilagi having a hand in all three tries as they refused to buckle after the All Blacks scored two tries early in the second half. It was a real pleasure to be at Twickenham that day and as someone who has high regard for Stuart Lancaster, the England coach, it was amusing to think that some of the more negative Sunday journalists would have had to rip up their planned hatchet job on him.<br />
<br />
The month ended with the usual bag of oddities: the Varsity rugby match, Shane Warne wanting to come out of retirement, an interview with a woman curler about her love of the bagpipes and continued monitoring of the Vendee Globe, but it was nice to end with a few happy memories: a piece-in-quotes about<a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/rugbyunion/article3618537.ece"> Katherine Grainger's Olympic gold</a>, an interview with the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3641729.ece">head of GB Paralympics</a> and 1,000 words on <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3643800.ece"><i>The Times's</i> team of the year: Team GB</a>.</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-68747403528289546032012-12-29T11:16:00.000+00:002012-12-29T11:25:21.326+00:00A sports-writer's year, part 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Continuing a look back on the excuses I gave for not being a better parent in 2012...</i><br />
<br />
<b>May</b> To Belgrade, where <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/public/sitesearch.do?querystring=%22patrick+kidd%22&offset=175&hits=0&sortby=date&order=ASC&from=20120101&bl=on">Britain's rowing squad won 12 medals</a> in the season's first World Cup (and where they were distracted at the start line by the presence of a nudist beach, populated as they always seem to be only by fat middle-aged Serbian men); then my first and only visit to the Olympic Stadium, where Hannah Cockroft, despite various transport traumas that meant she had no time to warm up before a Paralympic test event, became the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3408634.ece">first athlete to break a world record in the arena</a>.<br />
<br />
I had that rarity for me of a scoop, in which a high-up bod in the IOC told me that there were big worries about <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3411031.ece">transport chaos at the Olympics</a> (which turned out to be unfounded) and slipped in a bit of county cricket reporting, before heading to Lord's for the Test match against West Indies.<br />
<br />
Shoehorned a <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3418420.ece">West Wing reference</a> into a piece on James Anderson and asked why all West Indies fast bowlers sound like they are <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3419623.ece">named after Dorset villages</a>. Whatever happened to Shannon Gabriel? Also wrote a piece about <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3421821.ece">cricket and Kenneth Clark's <i>Civilisation</i></a>. Probably didn't work for most people but I get bored by the straight up and down cricket pieces in other papers.<br />
<br />
The month ended with more county cricket, but before that there was a trip to Lucerne for the second rowing World Cup, where the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3426947.ece">men's four smashed the world record</a>. A good omen, but with 18 different countries winning medals in the end, it suggested the Olympic regatta would be an open affair.<br />
<br />
<b>June</b> Began the month away from sport, doing a feature <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/life/families/article3441112.ece">behind the scenes at <i>In The Night Garden Live</i></a>, the stage show for toddlers, but then it was off to Munich for the final rowing World Cup before the Olympics. <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3448510.ece">The men's four lost to Australia</a>, which boded well since, curiously, Jurgen Grobler's Olympic gold-winning crews, going back to 1992, have never won at the final regatta before the Games. The reason why they do so well, I explained in a feature a week later, was down to <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3453117.ece">Jurgen's Alpine boot camp</a>.<br />
<br />
I was at the Oval for the one-day international, but the focus wasn't on the cricket. Instead, there was a sombre mood in memory of <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3450162.ece">Surrey's Tom Maynard who had tragically died that week</a>.<br />
<br />
Then came Wimbledon, where I was on plucky Brit watch for the first few days. <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/tennis/article3457715.ece">James Ward showed flashes of brilliance</a> (this would be the last we'd hear of him in 2012), and <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/tennis/article3456727.ece">Heather Watson</a> looked instantly at home on Centre Court. I saw <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/tennis/article3458988.ece">Caroline Wozniacki lose in the first round</a> and sat next to the man from the <i>Mail </i>in her press conference as he tried a couple of times to get her to blame it on Rory McIlroy, and put cheese in my ears to <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/tennis/article3463781.ece">block out Victoria Azarenka's squawking</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>July</b> Week two of Wimbledon seemed to be all about the Germans for a while, but normal service was resumed. I was on Centre Court for a <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/tennis/article3468215.ece">magnificent semi-final between the ever-so-slightly smug Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic</a> and was back to hoover up the sidebars for the final, where Federer beat Andy Murray.<br />
<br />
A flying visit to a cricket match in Canterbury was followed by the drive up the M6 to Blackpool for the Open Championship. I wrote preview pieces on Lee Westwood, Rory McIlroy, Tiger Woods and Luke Donald, but the interview I remember most was with <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3479900.ece">Greg Owen, a journeyman pro</a> who had briefly led the Open when it was last at Lytham but now, aged 40, sat outside the world's top 200. After back surgery and near-misses galore, he came through qualifying with a final round of 61 to reach his first major for six years and made the cut.<br />
<br />
I was sent out to report on the last group of Adam Scott and Graeme McDowell on the final day, but <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3483684.ece">Scott choked</a> and McDowell never got going, handing the title to Ernie Els. And so we headed towards the Olympics, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/life/article3483486.ece">with people still saying it was going to be a huge failure</a> and Tom James, the GB bow man in the four, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3488503.ece">suddenly missing training with a heart issue</a>. Eep.<br />
<br />
The regatta at Dorney began with New Zealand's men's pair <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/rowing/article3490315.ece">smashing Matthew Pinsent and James Cracknell's world record</a>, but the British crews progressed easily enough through their heats and hearts were warmed by the remarkably slow progress of Hamadou Djibo Issaka, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3490662.ece">dubbed the sculling sloth</a> from Niger.<br />
<br />
<b>August</b> A magical month, so hard to precis. <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/rowing/article3494027.ece">Helen Glover and Heather Stanning</a> won Britain's first gold; the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3494878.ece">men's eight</a> almost sacrificed a bronze medal in a push to try and get gold; the<a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/rowing/article3495385.ece"> lightweight men's four</a> were pipped to silver by South Africa; emotions overflowed as <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/rowing/article3496879.ece">Katherine Grainger and Anna Watkins won gold</a> and as <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3497548.ece">Alan Campbell got Britain's first medal in the single scull</a> for 84 years; <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3498024.ece">Kat Copeland and Sophie Hosking</a> and then the men's four completed the regatta with two more golds.<br />
<br />
So that was week 1 of my Olympics, just the nine GB medals to witness, and more was to come down at Weymouth, where I saw <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3498869.ece">Ben Ainslie win his fourth gold</a> and <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/article3498287.ece">Iain Percy and Andrew Simpson</a> just knocked into second place in the Star by a cruel late gust. More silvers followed for <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3501026.ece">Nick Dempsey in the windsurfing</a> and for the men's and women's 470 classes. <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3504688.ece">The contrasting reactions</a> of Hannah Mills and Saskia Clark, gutted with their second place, and the jubilant Luke Patience and Stuart Bithell suggests the girls may have the determination to do better in Rio.<br />
<br />
And that, I thought, was that for my Olympics, except at the death there was a delightful twist, an unexpected mission to <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3505973.ece">cover modern pentathlon in Greenwich Park</a>, where I saw Samantha Murray win Britain's final medal of the Games. Great sport, modern pentathlon, shame we only ever cover it once every four years.<br />
<br />
But this marvellous month was only half-over. I had a <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/opinion/columnists/article3506933.ece">eulogy to write on Sid Waddell</a> and then the whole Kevin Pietersen farce, an unwelcome backdrop to an interesting Lord's Test, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3513131.ece">defeat in which cost England their No 1 ranking</a>.<br />
<br />
No time for days off, amid pieces on Thatcher, London Zoo and previews of the Paralympics, I ended the month back at Lord's, where Andrew Strauss announced that he was <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3521689.ece">standing down as England captain</a>. His press conference ended in spontaneous and heartfelt applause from the normally cynical press, who genuinely regretted his departure. It was a month of emotion and strange happenings, but September would bring some even more extraordinary stories...</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-77237627336978182362012-12-28T10:52:00.001+00:002012-12-28T10:52:49.536+00:00A sports-writer's year, part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been a rather busy year. As a sports writer for <i>The Times</i> sent to cover some of the most extraordinary stories of my lifetime it has also been an extremely privileged year, but at the same time an exhausting one, with the cuttings pile showing that I've had 613 bylines in the paper in 2012.<br />
<br />
Some might say it is more quantity than quality, and at times it has felt like I have been ploughing out the words rather than having time (or talent) to finesse them - hence the lack of blogging here - but hopefully a few decent pieces have been returned.<br />
<br />
There were plenty of fabulous stories that I did not get to cover. I didn't write a word on the Tour de France or the US Open tennis and was busy with the Olympics when Rory McIlroy was winning the US PGA, a tournament I covered in 2011.<br />
<br />
I handled the England cricket team's disaster in Dubai at the start of the year but not the miracle in Mumbai at the end of it. The only time I set foot in the Olympic Stadium was for a Paralympic test event, although I did get to report on 15 of Britain's Olympic medals at Eton Dorney, Weymouth and Greenwich Park.<br />
<br />
That only shows what a year this has been in sport, since I can hardly claim to have missed out. My year has taken in a Wimbledon final, the Open golf, the greatest Ryder Cup comeback, the All Blacks beaten at Twickenham, two Lord's Test matches and the resignation press conference of Andrew Strauss. And, of course, the first London Olympics for 64 years.<br />
<br />
As this year ends, I'll be posting a few of the highlights of the year, separated like Gaul into three parts, with links to how I covered them. Yes, it is all behind a paywall but for your quid not only do you get what I wrote but you get 24 hours' access to all my more talented colleagues. There is a reason why <i>The Times</i> has been sports newspaper of the year for the past two years.<br />
<br />
Some may see this as a bit of an indulgence, perhaps, but if my toddler daughter stumbles across this blog in a few years time it will at least explain why I was never there during her second year.<br />
<br />
<b>January</b> The year began well with a prediction that <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3273358.ece">Britain's rowers would win nine medals</a> at London 2012 (spot on, for once), then it was off to the Middle East for the rest of the month with the England cricket team, where the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3289958.ece">Barmy Army struggled</a> in a "dry" country, England struggled against <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3289448.ece">Saeed Ajmal's illegal-or-not action</a> and Younus Khan <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3290617.ece">misread the Trottsra</a>.<br />
<br />
The first Test in Dubai was <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3290335.ece">lost by ten wickets</a>, and it was on to Abu Dhabi, with the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3297132.ece">spaceship parked at third man and kids playing in the dust outside</a>. The puppyish <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3297974.ece">Monty Panesar was back in the side</a> but the batsmen were still clueless against spin and were <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3301885.ece">dismissed for 72</a>.<br />
<br />
While out there, I also squeezed in <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3282204.ece">an interview with Ben Ainslie</a> about the Olympic sailor forming his own America's Cup team. I've interviewed Ben half a dozen times this year: for such a super-talented sportsman he is tremendously down-to-earth and decent.<br />
<br />
<b>February</b> Back in Europe in time for the Six Nations and the first of two trips to Paris to cover France against Ireland. The first attempt was <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/rugbyunion/article3317193.ece">abandoned ten minutes after the scheduled kick-off because of a frozen pitch</a>. Having been in 30C heat a few days earlier, it was quite a shock to be sitting outside at 9pm in -10C, but give me a frozen Paris over the burnt desert any day.<br />
<br />
<b>March</b> It was back to Paris three weeks later for the rematch (<a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/rugbyunion/article3339589.ece">a 17-17 draw</a>) and then on to rowing with the <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/rowing/article3347997.ece">Olympic trials</a> and an interview with <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/health/diet-fitness/article3357003.ece">the 40-year-old would-be Olympian Greg Searle</a>.<br />
<br />
In between, I wrote about <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3353991.ece">Sachin Tendulkar finally ending a year-long wait for his 100th international century</a> and was at Twickenham when <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/rugbyunion/article3356144.ece">England's pack demolished Ireland</a> to end a satisfying first Six Nations for the new coach, Stuart Lancaster.<br />
<br />
<b>April</b> Possibly <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/rowing/article3377787.ece">the most eventful Boat Race there has been</a>. I was in a following launch as the flotilla slammed on the brakes to <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/article3378231.ece">avoid killing an idiotic protestor</a>. After the restart, Oxford suffered a smashed oar after some dubious coxing and Cambridge romped home. Alex Woods, the Oxford bow, collapsed with exhaustion and had to be taken to hospital. As I had written in an <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3376086.ece">interview two days earlier</a>, it had taken Woods ten years of study at Oxford to earn that seat in the boat.<br />
<br />
I have never been to Augusta, but with the six-hour time difference and late finishes I often get called on to assist our golf correspondent on the final day from my sofa. This year, I had to knock out a passable <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/golf/article3378550.ece">profile of the winner, Bubba Watson</a>, in about 20 minutes. What our cuttings database doesn't show is the profile I also filed on Louis Oosthuizen, whom Watson beat in a play-off, just in case...<br />
<br />
Keeping up a trend of trying to spot future Olympic champions, <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/olympics/article3394433.ece">I interviewed Ed McKeevor</a>, the canoeist with forearms like Spanish hams. Gold would be his by the end of the summer.<br />
<br />
Then it was off to Boras, a town east of Gothenburg, for a few days to cover women's tennis as Judy Murray's Great Britain Fed Cup team were beaten by Sweden, but <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/tennis/article3391703.ece">Laura Robson showed her immense talent in defeat</a>.<br />
<br />
I remember over dinner one night the four-strong press pack debated how big a story it would be if Andy Murray ever won a grand-slam title. The biggest since 1966, we decided, yet only good enough, it turned out, to come third in Sports Personality of the Year...</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-28003433552925591222012-11-26T20:06:00.003+00:002012-11-26T20:18:49.190+00:00Sports Personality: a second dozen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
I lost interest in the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year when it became less about sport and more about personality (around the time, I imagine, that they changed its title from Sports Review of the Year).<br />
<br />
The programme of my childhood involved footage of sportsmen scoring goals and tries, hitting boundaries, volleying tennis balls, jumping over things, rather than celebrating.<br />
<br />
It came from the era of <i>Grandstand</i>, when you could sit in front of the TV all afternoon and watch anything from squash to weightlifting and all that mattered were results, not opinions.<br />
<br />
I know I'm just a grouch, but I have little interest in footage of people waving bouquets and biting medals. I want clips seen through a wide angle, rather than zoomed up the scorer's nostrils. And above all I do not want "novelty" acts. This is sport, not entertainment. If I want to see someone play the saxophone (sorry, Zac Purchase), I'll go to Ronnie Scott's.<br />
<br />
However, the discussions around SPOTY and who should be on the shortlist always make for an entertaining debate.<br />
<br />
After last year, when not a single woman was nominated despite there being several female world champions, the drawing up of the shortlist has been taken away from sports editors (especially the one from the <i>Manchester Evening News</i> who nominated the non-British Patrick Vieira and Dimitar Berbatov) and given to an expert panel.<br />
<br />
And this is the dozen they have come up with: Nicola Adams (boxing), Ben Ainslie (sailing),Jessica Ennis (athletics), Mo Farah (athletics), Katherine Grainger (rowing), Sir Chris Hoy (cycling), Rory McIIroy (golf), Andy Murray (tennis), Ellie Simmonds (swimming), Sarah Storey (cycling), David Weir (athletics), Bradley Wiggins (cycling).<br />
<br />
Not a bad list, is it? Wiggins is the bookies' favourite but you could make a good case for any of them. Eleven are Olympic or Paralympic champions; one is golf's world No 1 and winner of the money list on both sides of the Atlantic; we have Britain's first ever winner of the Tour de France and our first winner of a tennis major for more than 70 years. All would be worthy winners.<br />
<br />
And yet in this wonderful year of sport, there are glaring omissions. Here are 12 more athletes who would also be worthy winners of SPOTY.<br />
<br />
<b>Laura Trott</b>: Holds the Olympic, world and European titles in the omnium, cycling's version of the decathlon, with six different disciplines. Also won Olympic and world gold in the team pursuit. Not bad for an asthmatic born with a collapsed lung.<br />
<br />
<b>Jason Kenny</b>: Displaced Chris Hoy in the Olympic sprint event yet shook off the pressure to win gold. Also won gold in the team sprint.<br />
<br />
<b>Ian Poulter</b>: The heartbeat of the Europe Ryder Cup team, arguably an even better sporting event this year than the Olympics. It was Poulter's putting, with five birdies in a row, that started the fightback from 10-4 down and he went on to win his singles too.<br />
<br />
<b>Anna Watkins</b>: Katherine Grainger deservedly gets all the attention for getting an Olympic gold after three silvers but her partner in the undefeated double scull deserves half the credit. Watkins is the only person in the Britain squad to beat Grainger in the past ten years of national trials.<br />
<br />
<b>Helen Glover and Heather Stanning</b>: Call this one entry, but Britain's women's coxless pair won the country's first Olympic gold in any event and won it in style. A seemingly effortless Olympic record in their heat, followed by a final where they never trailed and led by clear water after barely 90 seconds.<br />
<br />
<b>Peter Wilson</b>: Won Britain's first shooting gold for 12 years. Also broke the world record for the double-trap earlier in the year. One of the great undersung achievements.<br />
<br />
<b>Alistair Brownlee</b>: Five times a world champion triathlete, Brownlee went into the Olympic event as favourite and sealed the deal. His brother, Jonathan, claimed the bronze medal and then succeeded Al as world champion. It was, as you may have heard, a good Olympics for Yorkshiremen and women.<br />
<br />
<b>Charlotte Dujardin</b>: Won team and individual gold medals in dressage, setting world records in doing so and proving that a horse really can dance to the music from <i>The Great Escape</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>Anthony Joshua</b>: Olympic superheavyweight champion despite relative inexperience and a tough draw at London 2012. Turned down a £50,000 offer to become a professional, saying he puts medals above money.<br />
<br />
<b>Heather Watson</b>: In winning the Japan Open, she became the first British woman to win a WTA Tour singles title since 1988 (Watson wasn't even born until 1992). Became the first British woman for ten years to reach the third round of Wimbledon (losing to the eventual runner-up) and ended the year in the world's top 50. A case could also be made for Laura Robson.<br />
<br />
<b>Alastair Cook</b>: Maybe a late run to the line with last night's victory in Mumbai, but Cook has shown for the past two years that he is England's most reliable batsman. Averages 67 since the start of the 2010 Ashes, in which time he has made nine of his 22 Test hundreds, an England record. Has captained England in four Tests and made four centuries.<br />
<br />
<b>Frankel</b>: And why shouldn't a horse win the prize? After winning the Queen Anne Stakes was given a rating of 147 by Timeform, the highest mark ever given to a horse in the company's 64-year history. Retired undefeated from 14 races - only one horse since 1900 has done as well - and now heads off to a life at stud, charging £125,000 a lay. Bradley Wiggins can't demand that.<br />
<br />
So there you are, 12 more to mull over. Who should be moved from the B list to the A list? Who have I missed out? And hasn't this been a wonderful sporting year?<br />
<br />
And the especially blissful thing? No footballers...</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-56889567645121551902012-11-14T16:22:00.002+00:002012-11-14T16:22:57.269+00:00Ninety years of the BBC<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Auntie possibly does not feel much like celebrating her <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-20309289">90th birthday today.</a> Attacked from the left and the right, damned as the protector of paedophiles and the tormentor of the innocent, her integrity doubted and her reputation for trustworthiness undermined, the BBC is certainly going through a tricky period.<br />
<br />
There are many who would like it dismantled, who object to being forced to pay £145.50 a year - "the most regressive and ruthlessly collected of all government imposts", according to <i>The Spectator's</i> Charles Moore - but for many more it is fabulously good value, far more so than those other public services we are taxed to fund, and that's not just because they employ my wife.<br />
<br />
What a bargain we get: the Today programme, Only Connect, Test Match Special, University Challenge, Doctor Who, repeats of Dad's Army, Rastamouse, In the Night Garden, almost anything on BBC Four, Wimbledon, the Olympics, the Proms, PM, QI, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, Carols from King's, The Good Life Christmas special and Susanna Reid looking coquettish on the Breakfast sofa. Yes, even Newsnight.<br />
<br />
So happy birthday, BBC, from a fan.<br />
<br />Earlier today the wonderful Rose Wild, custodian of <i>The Times </i>archive, <a href="http://twitpic.com/bd4805">tweeted an extract</a> from the newspaper in 1922 on the founding of what was then the British Broadcasting Company.<br />
<br />
"At the beginning," Sir William Noble, chairman of the company, said, "broadcasting will be conducted purely from a social point of view." Lord knows what he would have made of Twitter. News, weather and concerts were its main output. "It may be that later we shall arrange for speeches written by popular people to be broadcast," Noble added.<br />
<br />
Within two months, the BBC had given over an entire night's programming to a broadcast of Wagner's Die Walkure, save for a few children's bedtime stories from 5-5.45pm. Those were the days.<br />
<br />
Interestingly, having looked at the cutting beyond Rose's extract, it was not envisaged that this new technology should be a threat to newspapers. Noble said that broadcasting should stop at 1am so as not to tread on the toes of morning papers and not begin again before 5pm in order not to take custom away from evening newspapers. If only the internet could be the same...<br />
<br />
"We want broadcasting to be an incentive for people to buy more newspapers," he said. "We hope that by giving them a brief synopsis of events, we shall whet their appetite for news and induce them to buy newspapers."<br />
<br />
<i>The Times</i>, incidentally, thought that the word broadcasting was "an inelegant term". Guess we're stuck with it now.</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-53968219581370711892012-11-03T09:28:00.001+00:002012-11-03T09:28:28.312+00:00Commentating off the telegram<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The England cricket team are in India and the bulk of the press pack are also there getting ready for the first Test on November 15. Not Sky Sports, though, who plan to do their commentary "off the telly" from a studio in West London after deciding not to pay the Indian cricket board's late demand of £500,000 as an extra fee for using facilities.<br />
<br />
Reporting from afar is nothing new. I was looking at the <i>Times </i>archive of England's first Test series in India in 1933-34 and noticed that below a match report of the drawn second Test in Calcutta, presumably sent by an agency, there was a piece from Our Cricket Correspondent that begins:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"The reflexion [sic] of anyone who was hitting a golf ball into the bumps and hollows of Mid-Surrey yesterday when he heard that the match in Calcutta was left drawn was that the English team to win the match might well have scored a little faster in their first innings."</blockquote>
The correspondent then gives his opinions on a match of which he had obviously not seen a single ball nor have heard much, if any, radio commentary. The BBC began live cricket broadcasting in 1927 but it was not until the summer of 1934 that Howard Marshall did the first ball-by-ball commentary on home Tests.<br />
<br />
Perhaps the World Service, which began in 1932, might have carried a short report, but I suspect that the <i>Times</i> correspondent of 1934 wrote his piece "off the telegram".<br />
<br />
If Sky are working from home, the BBC's <i>Test Match Special</i>, which has been on the air since 1957, has come to an agreement with India and will broadcast from there. It is unclear whether they paid the £50,000 that they were demanded for a commentary box, but the important thing is that they will be there in India, bringing all the sounds of the crowds, the interviews with players on the outfield and Geoffrey Boycott's anecdotes about arguing with Indian brigadiers that people love.<br />
<br />
I am one of their fans, have been since childhood, which is why it was disappointing to get wrapped up in a Twitter argument with Jonathan Agnew, the BBC's cricket correspondent, yesterday over my support for a venture called Test Match Sofa, which is owned by <i>The Cricketer</i> magazine, and does commentary of cricket matches off the television.<br />
<br />
With less of the decorum and respect for authority that the BBC has, the Sofa is either a fun, anarchic, fresh way of doing commentary or it is a disgraceful sign of the way the world is going. It is not to everyone's taste and the commentators acknowledge that. Their reading out of tweets and their jingles for players would not be heard of on <i>TMS</i>. They even have women commentators.<br />
<br />
I like it, but I also like Agnew and the others on <i>TMS</i>. He is a fine broadcaster with a warm, inquisitive interview technique who should be used more often by the BBC on other sports and other occasions, as Brian Johnston was. His gentle joshing with Geoffrey Boycott is always great radio.<br />
<br />
That the Sofa has been kind enough to have me on as a guest on a handful of occasions - not frequently, as Agnew claimed in an attempt to undermine my impartiality, but maybe just into double figures over three years - does not mean I favour them. I would happily go on <i>TMS</i> if invited, although I have been told by one moderately famous friend who was invited on the Sofa that it had been made clear to him by Agnew that if he did so he would never be allowed on <i>TMS</i>, which seems petty. He has since been on <i>TMS</i>, lucky him.<br />
<br />
I do, however, support the Sofa's right to exist. Agnew argues that them doing ball-by-ball commentary contravenes the exclusive radio rights that the BBC has. <i>The Cricketer </i>argues that in the internet age the situation has changed, that they are doing no more than allowing fans watching a game to share their witty thoughts with others online and has challenged the ECB, English cricket's governing body, to make a legal case for why they should stop.<br />
<br />
Although the ECB made several pleas to <i>The Cricketer</i> on moral grounds - <i>won't someone please think of the money that you could be denying to the grassroots if the BBC pay less for their next bundle of rights</i> and so on - they have stayed away from this for six months or so and no lawyer's letter has come. What the Sofa is doing is apparently not illegal.<br />
<br />
I can see why Agnew is protective of the BBC's primacy but the difference in audience sizes is massive. The Sofa is not a threat to <i>TMS </i>but it offers something different to those who are turned off by the BBC, who can't access <i>TMS </i>overseas or perhaps just want a change occasionally (one person on Twitter said they listen to the Sofa when England are fielding and <i>TMS</i> when they are batting).<br />
<br />
Agnew says it is a rights issue but if so it can only be a good one for the BBC. Next time they negotiate a contract with the ECB they can refuse to pay as much since they feel they have less exclusivity. The BBC's remit should not be about funding cricket, it should be about getting the best deal for their listeners (the BBC, incidentally, pays nothing for their TV rights to the Boat Race, which attracts 7 million viewers, but no one talks about the devastating effect that has on rowing at Oxbridge).<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
In addition, TMS, as well as the experience of former players, trained commentators and 55 years of built-up authority, has the significant advantage of <i>being there</i>. Their access to the game, their facility to transmit the atmosphere, to speak to players immediately after play and to have first shot when big stories break mid-match (while the Sofa team are oblivious because they reading tweets) is what gives the value of their rights and why the prospect of the Indian board shutting them out if they didn't pay a ransom was awful.<br />
<br />
Anyway. This has been a festering grievance for a while, but it boiled over this week when Christopher Martin-Jenkins, the much-admired and loved <i>TMS </i>commentator and former <i>Times</i> correspondent, wrote a column in our paper in praise of <i>TMS </i>that began by calling the Sofa team "predators", "ghastly" and saying that the sooner they were "nailed" and "swept offline" the better.<br />
<br />
For a man who is regarded as a very fair and broad-minded journalist, who is more encouraging of young triers than some of his peer group, it was expressed with surprising vehemence and many who like the Sofa voiced their anger on Twitter.<br />
<br />
Beware giving legitimacy to a twitstorm, but Andrew Miller, the editor of <i>The Cricketer</i>, demanded a right of reply, which our paper gave him in the form of some quotes to me in a news piece.<br />
<br />
I'm sure Miller knew that some of his quotes were provocative. If Agnew was piqued at the suggestion the BBC should have checked their rights contract with India to see if they could actually get into the ground for their rupees, he exploded at the claim at the end that Brian Johnston and John Arlott, the godfathers of <i>TMS</i>, would not have got on to the programme if they were young BBC men now and would have been on the Sofa instead. It was a charge Miller made again in a piece in the <i>Mail</i>.<br />
<br />
Agnew quite fairly observes, by the way, that CMJ was giving his own opinion in his own newspaper and Miller should not have seen it as the voice of the BBC. However, those who were angered by the "predator" comments interpreted it as such, so closely linked is he with the programme. Agnew has had every chance to distance himself and <i>TMS </i>from that opinion but has not done so.<br />
<br />
Reading his tweet that he "became extremely angry by some outrageous claims, not least that Johnners wouldn't work for TMS today", I replied to Agnew that what Miller wrote was not that he wouldn't but that he couldn't.<br />
<br />
There is simply not the pathway into the best seat in broadcasting for an Old Etonian, Oxbridge japester these days. If the first two categories didn't bar him now, the fondness for practical jokes probably would. Nor would Arlott, a former policeman and poet, a friend of John Betjeman, who was suddenly given a chance to commentate on cricket when he was 32 and so a magnificent career was born. Their way in was granted by patronage and the good fortune of being in the right place after the war.<br />
<br />
That does not happen these days, which is why a comedian like Andy Zaltzman, the nearest perhaps in humour and background to a Johnners among modern commentators, goes on the Sofa.<br />
<br />
And so it began. A fair battering followed, Agnew suggesting that Johnston would go into local radio and then somehow be picked up by <i>TMS</i>, even though plenty of talented local commentators get no further than a stint on unfancied one-day games or reports on Five Live, plus the BBC keeps saying it is going to do away with county coverage.<br />
<br />
That's fine, that is his opinion and I look forward to the day when Zaltzman is saying "Hello and welcome to Lord's" from the <i>TMS </i>prime chair.<br />
<br />
I just find the whole row very saddening. Both <i>TMS </i>and the Sofa, in differing ways, are producing content as cricket-lovers, giving publicity to a sport that badly needs it. They should be, if not on the same side, then at least not on warring ones. I respect both of them and I wasted far too much of yesterday being upset at the bulldozing I got from someone who cannot accept there may be a differing point of view.<br />
<br />
So I'll leave you with this comment, from the 1935 <i>Wisden Cricketers' Almanack</i>, in the Notes by the then editor Sydney Southerton:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"The cricket season of 1934 [was] unpleasant... The whole atmosphere of cricket in England was utterly foreign to the great traditions of the game. I deplored the attitude of a certain section of the Press in what seemed to me an insane desire constantly to stir up strife... We constantly read during the Test matches, not so much how the game was going, but rather, tittle-tattle of a mischievous character, which in the long run prompted the inevitable question: are Test matches really worth while?"</blockquote>
Southerton was referring to the rise of a tabloid culture and maybe Agnew would lay his charges on the Sofa's carpet, but the same could be thrown back at him since his battling without conciliation on Twitter is fostering the same strife. We should all be better than this. We all love cricket. Why don't we just get back to reporting on it rather than squabbling with each other? Or are Test matches not worth while?</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com47tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-2799096836509876582012-11-02T18:32:00.000+00:002012-11-02T18:32:22.290+00:00A new start?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I haven't written a blog in almost six months. Partly because I had no time during the busiest summer of my life as a sports writer, in which I was privileged to cover everything from Wimbledon to the Ryder Cup via two Test matches, three rowing regattas, the Open and a couple of multi-sports events in London, and partly because I seem to be spending more time than is helpful for private writing on that modern-day Tower of Babel that is Twitter.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Taking half an hour to write something of length, let alone long enough to do proper research and form reasoned opinions, seems impossible, even if I waste just as much time reading and replying to tweets. I wish someone would uninvent Twitter.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Still, that is the way the world is going. Many of the blogs I used to read often are either now dead, in hibernation or updated sporadically. And many more might still be thriving but I just don't feel the need to go and read them. There seems to be a widespread blogging boredom.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But from time to time I probably will have things to say that need more than 140 characters in which to say them, so I have decided not to kill off the Vole completely. God knows whether it has been missed, although it had a few loyal readers who were kind enough to say nice things, but I will try to blog every once in a while, especially if you encourage me.</div>
</div>
</div>
Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-35003209808620914742012-05-23T19:55:00.001+01:002012-05-23T19:55:42.945+01:00Basil Easterbrook, forgotten legend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Some blog posts have no real point or timely purpose. They just contain random thoughts that might amuse. This is one of those.<br />
<br />
I went googling this afternoon, as hacks with stories to research do these days. I presume in the old era of Fleet Street such a search would mean a trip to the British Library, perhaps with a few snorters in Ye Old Stabbe on the way back. Indeed, as recently as 2001, when I was working briefly on the then largely internet-free <i>Daily Telegraph</i>, I remember asking the chief sub how I could check a fact and being given the phone number for the library. I presume even the <i>Telegraph </i>has moved on now.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I was hunting information about batsmen who have made 1,000 first-class runs before the end of May, since Somerset's Nick Compton has passed 900 and may yet get to four figures before the month is out. If he does - and surely by me drafting a feature on those who went before him, it has ensured that he will fall short - he would be the first man to do it since Graeme Hick in 1988 and only the third since 1938. It is a bit of a cricket nerd's wet dream.<br />
<br />
Compton and his runs have no further role in this post, but while hunting precedent I came across a couple of pieces written in the 1970s for <i>Wisden Cricketers' Almanack</i> by one Basil Easterbrook. It was a name that rang some distant vague bell and having liked what I read, I went hunting for more information.<br />
<br />
It turns out he was one of those hard-working regional pressmen who are sadly a dying breed these days. Rarely bylined in the nationals, he was nonetheless a familiar and respected member of football and cricket press boxes around the country and always to be seen when England were playing at Wembley or Lord's.<br />
<br />
He was also the source of some excellent anecdotes and since my main purpose in life is to gather such humorous stories, I may as well paste a few of them below.<br />
<br />
<i>From his <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/obituary-basil-easterbrook-1526651.html">obituary in The Independent</a>: </i><br />
<br />
"Like most of his generation, he was unenthusiastic about the advance of commercialism but he was once put in charge of the Press Box hospitality at Worcester by a new and happily naive sponsor. The hacks were duly impressed on the first lunchtime when a bottle of Chablis arrived at each seat. Easterbrook beamed.<br />
<br />
"The next day more wine arrived accompanied by a fly-past from the Red Arrows. Challenged to top this, on the last day, Easterbrook smiled and pointed out of the window to where, under the shadow of the cathedral, the groundsman's hut had gone up in flames."<br />
<br />
And: "Ordered on one occasion to spell out his words more concisely and clearly when dictating a report over the telephone he began, carefully: 'This is Basil V. Easterbrook.'... 'What league is that?' asked the copytaker."<br />
<br />
<i>From an <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/2388251/Money-was-the-last-thing-on-his-mind.html">article on Keith Miller</a>: </i><br />
<br />
"In 1953 when Miller led Australia against Yorkshire at Sheffield, Easterbrook was just about to leave for the match when the manageress told him that Mr Miller and Mr Lindwall were still in their room. The Australian team coach had gone and Easterbrook knew it would not be easy to find taxis in Grindleford, a small, picturesque village.<br />
<br />
"Australia were in the field, Miller would have to lead the team out and Bramall Lane would be packed. Then Easterbrook recalled that the local funeral parlour had a limousine. He hired it, they got to Bramall Lane with the gates closed on 30,000 and minutes to go before the start. Miller, furiously changing in the limousine said: 'Pay the cab, Bas, and collect it from Davies [the Australian manager].' But Davies refused to pay the £2.<br />
<br />
"In 1972, Easterbrook was at the Old Trafford Test against Australia when Miller came by and thrust £5 in his pocket: 'That was for Grindleford, Bas.' When Easterbrook protested it was too much, Miller said: 'Well, Bas, there's been inflation and it's a long time.'"<br />
<br />
<i>And then this, written by Easterbrook in the 1971 Wisden: </i><br />
<br />
"There are many of cricket's best untold stories in the making of a duck. I remember one occasion when Yorkshire were playing Oxbridge. A wicket had fallen. Slowly gracefully from the pavilion emerged a slim willowy figure most beautifully attired - the next man in. His flannels could only have been cut in Savile Row; his boots were new, his pads spotless. On his head, set at a carefully cultivated, devil-may-care angle was a multi-coloured cap. Clipped round his neck to protect his throat from the rude winds of early May which do not spare even university towns, was a silk scarf.<br />
<br />
"On his way to the crease he played imaginary bowlers. With wristy cuts and flicks, perfectly timed drives, and daring late glances and hooks he despatched the imaginary ball to all parts of the ground.
"The Yorkshire players watched his approach in silence. He eventually arrived at the wicket and looked around, imperiously, like a king come to his rightful throne. He took guard, and then spent a full minute making his block hole, shaping and patting it until it was ready to his satisfaction. Another look around the entire field - and he was ready to receive his first ball.<br />
<br />
"Freddie Trueman bowled it and knocked two of the three stumps clean out of the ground. As our young exquisite turned languidly and began to walk away, Freddie called to him sympathetically, 'Bad luck sir, you were just getting settled in.'"<br />
<br />
Beautiful.</div>Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-21802526756174093342012-05-11T16:07:00.000+01:002012-05-11T16:09:32.880+01:00Rain/frost/incompetence stopped play<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's a fairly pleasant, sunny afternoon at Chelmsford and a cricket match has suddenly broken out between Essex and Kent. This came as a surprise for me, having seen little more than drizzle for the past two days. Indeed, my entire season has been pretty much washed out.<br />
<br />
As I wrote in<a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/counties/article3410972.ece"> this morning's Times</a>, 2012 is shaping up to be one of the wettest cricket seasons on record, up there with 1879 (described as too wet even for coaching), 1888 ("June was detestable, July indescribable", according to Wisden), 1903 (almost half a metre of rain fell in the season), 1912 (June and July had twice the annual average rainfall, August was worse) and 1954 (lost revenue cost the counties £1.6 million in today's money).<br />
<br />
On the first day of the match I am covering this week, there were fewer than ten overs possible between showers. Yesterday, there were only ten balls. That is still ten balls more than I had in the entire match between Surrey and Durham two weeks ago, which was abandoned without any play, while Monday's one-day game at Lord's looks arid by comparison as only two hours were lost.<br />
<br />
For a sportswriter, I'm not seeing an awful lot of sport this year. Even when the weather is hot, the players are not. In January, I was in the UAE to cover England's Test series against Pakistan, in which thanks to our boys' inability to play spin, four days of the series were not needed.<br />
<br />
In February, I was sent to Paris to cover the Six Nations rugby match between France and Ireland. The temperature plummeted to -10C and it was called off ten minutes before the scheduled start because of a frozen pitch.<br />
<br />
And then there was the Boat Race, which was completed despite the best efforts of fate, which threw a swimming protester and a broken Oxford oar into the mix.<br />
<br />
I'm starting to wonder whether I might be a bit of a sporting Jonah, chaos following wherever I go. At this rate, expect an asteroid to strike Wimbledon, the Open golf to be washed out by a tsunami up the Irish Sea and the Olympics to be terribly inconvenienced by a plague of locusts.</div>Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-69363154346377616352012-04-06T17:09:00.000+01:002012-04-06T17:09:19.467+01:00Nice to sink you, to sink you nice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicVWKycX4OBUWzzmmjSTvJ7TRAxFLxyj0HTSuggI0ku9xHbi0J7r-MNsv2v_kgIxJ6fc445wsOflQwHQ0kbpQYiyH6MC3Jp1HV6B4aMzCisRlfC9WRJGnp_IDLNBbLYTENwAu-kQ/s1600/goodman+titanic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicVWKycX4OBUWzzmmjSTvJ7TRAxFLxyj0HTSuggI0ku9xHbi0J7r-MNsv2v_kgIxJ6fc445wsOflQwHQ0kbpQYiyH6MC3Jp1HV6B4aMzCisRlfC9WRJGnp_IDLNBbLYTENwAu-kQ/s320/goodman+titanic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Of all the Titanic tie-ins at the moment, the most inspired surely has to be <i><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00pq2f3">Titanic with Len Goodman</a></i> – or Dancing on Iceberg as Jon Holmes memorably described it on Radio 4. The <i>Strictly Come Dancing</i> judge was once a welder for the company that built the unsinkable vessel, albeit fifty years later, so seemed the ideal choice to present a three-part series on the disaster in the absence of Leonardo di Caprio or Captain Birdseye.<br />
<br />
The decision raises the intriguing prospect of other reality show/history programme crossovers. Later this summer perhaps we can expect to see Bruno Tonioli bring his trademark effervescence to a series on the anniversary of the Battle of Midway or maybe Gok Wan explaining the after-effects of Hiroshima in a programme called <i>Does My Bomb Look Big in This?</i><br />
<br />
Surely Sir Brucie would be an ideal host for a night of programming next year about the 50th anniversary of Pol Pot becoming leader of the Khmer Rouge – <i>Strictly Cambodia</i> – and feelers are already being put<br />
out to see if Louis Walsh and Dermot O'Leary fancy co-hosting a series on when the American civil rights movement went violent: <i>The Malcolm X Factor</i>.<br />
<br />
The series that everyone wants to see, though, would be about those irritating parasites who caused widespread distress in the 14th and 21st century. Yes, brace yourself for Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan<br />
presenting <i>Britain's Got The Bubonic Plague</i>.</div>Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-24702268700046342232012-03-20T19:06:00.001+00:002012-03-20T19:09:37.101+00:00Give an inch and they'll take 2.54cm<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Oh dear, John Hemming is being wacky again.<br />
<br />
The amorous MP for Birmingham Yardley, who according to his patient wife has had 26 affairs despite resembling one of the less trendy 1980s Open University professors, <a href="http://politicalscrapbook.net/2012/03/john-hemming-metric-system-edm/">has tabled an Early Day Motion about metrication</a>.<br />
<br />
Mr Hemming, <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-15115530">whose wife last year ended up in court for stealing his mistress's cat</a>, is upset that "reports in the BBC and other media outlets" have referred to the Chancellor of the Exchequer "coming down like a tonne of bricks on wealthy people who sell properties through offshore companies to avoid stamp duty".<br />
<br />
He wants us to use "ton" instead, observing that not only is the imperial spelling more British but it is heavier - about 16kg heavier - than a metric tonne. We are, apparently, "understating the Chancellor's commitment to action" by spelling it thus.<br />
<br />
Hemming then calls on the media to cease metrication "before people end up being exhorted not to give another 24.5 millimetres rather than not giving another inch".<br />
<br />
<i>Which would be a better point if there were not actually 25.4mm in an inch...</i><br />
<br />
So far, his motion <a href="http://www.parliament.uk/edm/2010-12/2893">has attracted only one signature</a>, his own.<br />
<br />
OK, so he is just trying to be witty and there may be a serious point buried in there, except that this solitary stand against a rogue "-ne" suffix has cost the taxpayer £443. That is the figure extrapolated from the <a href="http://www.parliament.uk/documents/commons-information-office/p03.pdf">estimated annual cost of EDMs of £1m</a> according to the House of Commons library.<br />
<br />
The bulk of that cost, about £776,000, comes from having to print and publish them, although I don't know why in this day and age it can't all be done online.<br />
<br />
An EDM is one of those tools by which MPs raise matters of national or local concern in the hope of getting them a wider airing. In fact, they rarely achieve anything more than a bit of local press for the MPs who sign them, which is why some refuse to bow to pressure groups who demand their signature. Very few ever lead to a debate (from 1979 to 1994 only four did, but this has picked up to a couple per year if backed by a ton - or tonne - of support).<br />
<br />
So, Mr Hemming has cost the taxpayer £443 in making his silly point which no one but he supports and which will not lead to any change. You would have thought that he could have made the same point on Twitter for less money. Still, if it keeps him out of the sack for ten minutes...<br />
<br />
<i>The Times</i>, by the way, will be sticking with its style guide which says we should use "tons" only in a historic context (although curiously allows the metaphor "tons of help"...).</div>Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-54208455549697469372012-03-16T14:14:00.006+00:002012-03-16T15:12:23.646+00:00Waiting for Sachin. Now what?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd101o4wHGFvdBMPkG4d7xcHjJbETZbxh-BQj0h_8t2UkEE7H6eYRepyKnLRJhtlCIEXqfGbapzMhrdXPNT8LP6Z7TsV6YJDfTW1eCF0cEmd5C8JuR2weC3ZPppZSo3IEzEZP6AQ/s1600/sachin.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd101o4wHGFvdBMPkG4d7xcHjJbETZbxh-BQj0h_8t2UkEE7H6eYRepyKnLRJhtlCIEXqfGbapzMhrdXPNT8LP6Z7TsV6YJDfTW1eCF0cEmd5C8JuR2weC3ZPppZSo3IEzEZP6AQ/s320/sachin.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Every so often someone at the BBC has to go through the tapes prepared for broadcast after the death of a major royal or former Prime Minister and check that the people they have interviewed have not died. There was a close call in 2002 when someone spotted just before transmission that Lord Longford was singing the Queen Mother's praises despite having shuffled off his mortal coil a year earlier.<br />
<br />
I thought about that this morning when Sachin Tendulkar finally made his 100th international century for India, 370 days after his 99th, and newspapers and television stations began to push out all the material they had started to compile more than a year ago.<br />
<br />
I've been trying to keep <i>The Times's</i> stats bundle on Tendulkar updated through his 33 hundredless innings, but amid the reams of commentary and hours of footage that are being pumped out around the world today there might be the odd error that gets through. A reference to something that was accurate in March 2011 but is now an anachronism, a talking head interviewed who is now silent.<br />
<br />
Indeed, as Ali Martin of The Sun noted on Twitter, this has already happened. <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/17400461">The BBC are showing praise for Tendulkar's achievement from Andrew Strauss</a>, which was clearly filmed at a sponsor's event last November. A little misleading of the Beeb...<br />
<br />
Between Tendulkar's 99th century, made the day after a tsunami struck Japan, and his 100th, Libya's government fell, Prince William got married, Ratko Mladic was arrested, Alastair Cook got married, the US space shuttle programme ended, Syria went psycho, Greece flirted with financial oblivion, four cricketers were jailed for corruption and England became the world's No 1 Test side.<br />
<br />
Three great but evil men died - Muammar Gadaffi, Osama bin Laden and Kim Jong Il - and a whole Test XI of former cricketers, including Basil D'Oliveira, the Nawab of Pataudi and Graham Dilley. Time rolled on swiftly while Tendulkar was becalmed on 99.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsM98yVcjzbK5_Ohu8k6egS05Aw7YOwazDjP9dXutavMokvWppPf6QEyaPzCUnAy20Hnieotb7XeR4OZ1XHM92c1tGu9D-sc6RVq88IEqE_YGF4ScmX8KfJvt2g6bnnm8vw6OMlg/s1600/ramps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsM98yVcjzbK5_Ohu8k6egS05Aw7YOwazDjP9dXutavMokvWppPf6QEyaPzCUnAy20Hnieotb7XeR4OZ1XHM92c1tGu9D-sc6RVq88IEqE_YGF4ScmX8KfJvt2g6bnnm8vw6OMlg/s320/ramps.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/cricket/article3283806.ece">spoke to Mark Ramprakash</a> in January, two thirds of the way through Tendulkar's barren patch in terms of innings played, and we discussed the lengthy - but not that lengthy - drought that the Surrey and former England batsman endured in 2008 when trying to move from 99 to 100 first-class centuries, a landmark that will probably never be reached again given how few first-class matches are played by international cricketers (even Tendulkar is only on 78 fc hundreds).<br />
<br />
The expectation and attention on Ramprakash was far less severe than it has been on Tendulkar, but it still brought pressure. Like Tendulkar, Ramprakash had reached 99 hundreds at a great lick, with six in the space of nine innings. And then form deserted him.<br />
<br />
It would be three months - half the county season - before he made another century. Every day he showed up at a ground, there would be Sky Sports to ask whether today would be his day. It grew wearying.<br />
<br />
And then suddenly the wait was over. Ramprakash made 112 at Headingley and celebrated rather quaintly with a cup of tea and a slice of fruitcake with his mother in the pavilion (I feel for her, like Tendulkar's family, having to travel round to watch the elusive landmark).<br />
<br />
"The next day felt like an anticlimax," Ramprakash told me. "I'd had three months of being asked the same question, so there was excitement and relief, but then you wonder: 'what next?'."<br />
<br />
What happened next for Ramprakash was an unbeaten 200 in his next innings, 178 in the one after that and 127 two innings later. The monkey off his back, he could score freely again. I fully expect Tendulkar to embark on one of the most fruitful periods of his career, starting on Sunday against Pakistan.</div>Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9058290.post-87141631548347970632012-03-15T13:06:00.004+00:002012-03-15T13:07:55.743+00:00Sod the Ides of March, have a wee dram<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpPqueBr8feV97k5TXzDiKidOBEem1nJSeXIDwK9HzFgxVultt6SBEmcY2Oy1-8e50H8J-wp88FcmmNYyDkqkhcesmTxAhjoq1Zm9M7EoIopI1f1894midTbcXCLRvBYeyzifaQ/s1600/scotch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpPqueBr8feV97k5TXzDiKidOBEem1nJSeXIDwK9HzFgxVultt6SBEmcY2Oy1-8e50H8J-wp88FcmmNYyDkqkhcesmTxAhjoq1Zm9M7EoIopI1f1894midTbcXCLRvBYeyzifaQ/s400/scotch.jpg" width="252" /></a>Today is the Ides of March, that day when the soothsayer in "a tongue shriller than all the music" warned Caesar that it might be a good idea to bunk off work.<br />
<br />
It's hard to see Shakespeare being used to flog anything these days, so I was delighted to discover this advert for Scotch Whisky in the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=341366435914661&set=a.341366405914664.90518.246830155368290&type=1&theater">British Newspaper Archive</a>, taken from the <i>Western Morning News </i>in 1927. We should bring back adverts that use line drawings rather than photos!<br />
<br />
Particularly fabulous is the sales pitch that Scotch can be used as a remedy against influenza. The drinking advice is also quite wonderful, too: <i>"Scotch Whisky can be taken at the strength and in the volume best suited to the individual constitution, the time and the climate."</i><br />
<br />
If only alcohol today could be sold with a "drink what you want, when you want, you're a grown-up" message.</div>Paddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17790241838601339104noreply@blogger.com0