I find Sunday morning church like watching cricket matches played in Australia: I like the experience but it is always on at the wrong time. Whenever I can stir myself, I have a good time. Mostly I prefer my bed more.
Disgraceful, but I do try to redeem myself with a once-a-month evensong. Last night, after a beautiful service at All Saints in Blackheath, I was buttonholed by the vicar who tried to persuade me to come along to a 10.30am one Sunday.
"Ah, um, but it clashes with the Archers omnibus," I stuttered, expecting to be sent straight to hell for preferring a radio soap opera to holy communion, but the priest's response was charming.
"Yes, but you can't get me on the iPlayer," he said.
A fellow congregant then suggested that I bring a small radio to listen to The Archers during the service. It's things like that which make me like the Church of England. It is religion for the masses, not the Masses.
B*tch-Gate in 60 Seconds
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