"To whichever wench is next: Henry is quite demanding. Try not to lose your head under pressure"
- Anne Boleyn
"Hope you can speak Russian. Tell the new guys they won't need to walk Blondi."
- Adolf Hitler
"Dear Colly, Try and keep one eye on the French and one eye on the Spanish. Be warned: Hardy doesn't put out."
- Horatio Nelson
"All yours. Felt a slight bump a while back but everything seems ok. Probably just a whale. I'm turning in for the night."
- Anonymous look-out on RMS Titanic
"Barry! God are you lucky: the economy is shooting ahead and the Taleban have disappeared. Or is it the economy that has disappeared and the Taleban doing the shooting? I can't remember. Ask Dick if you get stuck. By the way: never trust a pretzel."
- George W Bush
Friday Caption Contest (Red Arrow Edition)
1 hour ago